Sit Ubu Sit... Good Blog

me. right now.

2008-07-01T21:56:00.002+10:00

My house, my role
My friends, my man
My devotion to God
All amorphous, indefinit

Nothing's been clear
Nothing's been in
Nothing's felt true
And I've never had both feet in
Nothing's belonged
Nothing's been 'yes'
Nowhere's been home
And I'm ready to be limbo no more

My taste, my peers
My identity
My affiliation
All amorphous, indefinit

Nothing's been clear
Nothing's been in
Nothing's felt true
And I've never had both feet in
Nothing's belonged
Nothing's been 'yes'
Nowhere's been home
And I'm ready to be limbo no more

I sit with filled frames
And my books and my dogs at my feet
My friends by my side
My past in a heap
Thrown out most of my things
Only kept what I need to carve
Something consistent
And notably me

Tattoo on my skin
My teacher's in heart
My house is a home
Something at last I can feel a part of
A sense of myself
My purpose is clear
My roots in the ground
Something at last I can feel a part of

Something aligned
To finally commit
Somewhere I belong
'Cause I'm ready to be limbo no more
My wisdom applied
A firm foundation
A vow to myself
'Cause I'm ready to be limbo no more

Alanis Morissette
Limbo No More

because...

2008-06-04T21:05:00.002+10:00

there is nothing like a man with awesome nuts to make it all seem better...

tell me he did not just do that...

2008-06-04T20:58:00.003+10:00

nothing like the class of talking about someone to a caller, when that person is sitting in the next room.

nothing like lowering ones voice, referring to me as 'that other person' then realising how foul the behaviour is... and backward steps and trying to reverse the conversation...

well my friend, when your world next falls down - when next you're alone - when next you percieve the world is done with you - I, as usual, expect my phone to ring. and you can expect me to answer. and be there. i dont know how to do much else.

I will tell you how brilliant you are, in spite of how you treat me - how you attempt to break me - attempt to get to me. in or out of partnership you 'win'. it's inherent - you have to... its who you are. i am not a winner. not like that.

SO know, that in spite of your best attempts, to put me off side, to break my stride and to ruin me or what we've had or even do have... aren't going to work. You will need me one day, like you did on Monday. and you'll be thankful for me. As i am of you. each day.

you'll always mean a lot to me...even if i do not in kind... and that, my friend, is honestly okay.

I, thankfully, have me.

Cheers

every exploring... every expanding

2008-06-01T21:38:00.000+10:00

One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived and I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends

One day I'll be at peace
I’ll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt

One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

One day, my mind will retreat, and I'll know god and I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure, like the women I see on their 30th anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous and torturous
But never done

One day, I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and whole

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

2008-05-22T22:21:00.004+10:00

havent seen each other for a while, a few moments of discomfort have come and gone... old times ring about our heads and the sense of ahhhh this is familiar is obvious... neither knowing how we've changed....

singing to the radio...

me: apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur
you and me: the whole club was looking at her

knowing nod

you and me: she hit the floor, next thing you know
shorty got low, low, low, low, low......

silence

just pretend i didnt tear your world apart

2008-05-22T22:18:00.001+10:00

I was quiet as a mouse
when i snuck into your house
and took roofies with your spouse
in a nit and out a louse
lice are lousy all the time
they suck your blood drink your wine
say shut up and quit your crying
give it time and you'll be fine

you're so nice and you're so smart
you're such a good friend i hafta break your heart
i'll tell you that i love you then i'll tear your world apart
just pretend i didn't tear your world apart

i like boys with strong convictions
and convicts with perfect diction
underdogs with good intentions
amputees with stamp collections
plywood skinboards ride the ocean
salty noses suntan lotion
always seriously joking
and rambunctiously soft-spoken
i like boys that like their mothers
and i have a thing for brothers
but they always wait til we're under the covers
to say i'm sure glad we're not lovers

you're so nice and you're so smart
you're such a good friend i hafta break your heart
i'll tell you that i love you then i'll tear your world apart
just pretend i didn't tear your world apart

i like my new bunnysuit
i like my new bunnysuit
i like my new bunnysuit
when i wear it i feel cute

If you're reading....

2008-05-19T21:50:00.001+10:00

Peace time.

2008-05-19T21:23:00.002+10:00

sometimes it takes time spent with a (much) loved one, to highlight how differently we all take the world in... process it... and spit it back out.
how tall our tales can be, how exquisite our recounts of events passed are measures of the man - and, well... how far from the truth we have to stretch to make our stories sound interesting enough...

Whilst this is feeling judgemental.. it is not, merely, oberservant. Our views, collide in the space between us and land back with a sense of okayness and non-judgement... i guess thats what friends... best friends... do. Entertain us. be it bitter, embelished or just fucking made up - we listen, we shake our fists in anger and offer pseudo-support... because thats what needs to be heard.

ME: To life not being perfect!
You: To life not being perfect!
Us: Cheers

2008-05-14T21:50:00.002+10:00

GO LIFE!!!

Today was an awesome day. My days are full, entirely, without 2 minutes of 'downtime' from 730am to 9pm... without 2 minutes...

Of course there was alone time to sing-a-long with the radio (Valerie) and there is time to engage in non-work conversation, with a work collegue, there was time to exchange emails with friends close and closer but there was no 'what to do with my time' time... i'm a big fan of that time... but now, as it approaches 10pm...

here is bed. like a beacon of peace, singularity and aloneness... but how nice it would be to be warm in bed... with him...!

all in good time my pretty.....

the day winds up, and i'm winding down and overall things feel balanced. my abode as tho bombed, yet my work as tho blessed by organisation... balanced....

things will be clean balanced follwoing the days approach... (Yes, me romanticising procrastination... i'm all about that)

with that. go team.

Me. Right Now.

2008-05-13T21:59:00.001+10:00

So leave your taxi waiting
And turn and close my door
And sit back down where you were sitting
A little closer than before

When you look that serious
It just makes me want you more
And I've been needing to tell you

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get, the better I feel

And yes I know you're nervous
Never seen you so unsure
You haven't touched your food tonight
And you're drinking more and more

And there's no need to hurry
Taking time I'll still be here
And I've been needing to tell you

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
better I feel
The closer you get, better you see
The closer you are, more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get, better I feel
Better I feel

We've been circling for time baby
We're coming down to land tonight
The wait is over and now it's easy
Everything is fine

The closer you get, better I feel
The closer you are, more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around, better I feel
The closer you get, better you see
The closer you are, more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get
Better I feel

Easy. Easy. Fuck I wish it was easy.

2008-04-28T22:24:00.003+10:00

So, I am not one to cry foul - I'm sure deep down the world owes nobody anything compared to what it owes to me - I mean, my youth was ruined, my body is scarred, my outlook is generally upbeat, i'm surrounded by crazy kids i get to call my friends and i really do have too much money for one person my age. It's simple.

BUT I WANT MY LIFE TO BE EASY!

How dare i get up in the morning, trollop off to work and do not a hell of a lot compared to a lot of people. How dare i have downtime whilst neglecting certain tasks that have been around for years. How dare i enjoy uni study at night and yoga on mondays and gym time and friends time. and how dare i not enjoy it?

i mean - how dare i enjoy it?

Don't look at me like, it's 10.26pm and there is a part of me that wishes it wasnt this time, in fact it wishes it wasn't anytime. Safe to say, there is a part of me that wishes i wasnt here. but i dont know where i want to be. Someone just stood on the cat, i remember when that would have been plain funny. now its confused funny, because i love the cat so.

Again - something else that isn't easy. Laughing at cats in pain should be easy.

Stupid love. I mean, what, what is it good for? I dont know how to finish it. but one thing is for sure - IT AINT FUCKING EASY. Love for family, friends, partners - mother fucking not easy. Annoying. People are shithouse, lets be honest. I am shithouse and i am a person. so it makes sense to generalise. There are so many people that i wish i was. So many shiney, happy people... I just want to put them all in a massive pot and cook them up.

have a shiney happy soup. for dinner. every night. fountain of youth and glamour. I'd be happy to be ugly then - no pot for me!! pot. thats funny.

my mind is running too fast, so hilariously fast i want to kick someone in the nuts. someone else almost as much as i want to kick me in the nuts! imagine how much complaining i could do if my tackle was all ruined! HILARIOUS!

Done. Sold. time to go sleep in my entirely comfortable and warm bed.
Fuck, i wish things were easy.

Odd. Fuck me, it was odd.

2008-04-28T22:19:00.002+10:00

her: so i think i'll be divorced by the time i get back to work tomorrow.

me: ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

her: i mean it, on the weekend he spent three hundred dollars on god knows what.

me: ha, ha, ha, ha.

her: then, i ask him what's for dinner - while i'm at work, and he's at home - and he asks me 'what are you cooking'? Well you know what... Fuck him!

me: ha, ha, ha.

her: I'm going to finish this report - i dont want to go home.

me: ha, ha. oh.

her: i mean, for fuck sake! FOR FUCKS SAKE!

me: oh. i have to get to yoga.

her: maybe i should come to go yoga.

me: do they do it out where you live?

dissapointed ponder.

me: see you in the morning!

me time. you time. down time. blog time.

2008-04-24T23:06:00.003+10:00

I have totally not been blogging forever...

But it's fun. And I miss the disgusting amount of self-loving it induces... Hilarious.

This will likely be the last one for 5 months... but i'll chuckle hard when i check back in...

Spuds!

funny

2008-04-24T22:49:00.002+10:00

seriously funny television
west wing

From outer space...

2008-04-24T22:43:00.002+10:00

Dinner with a guy I have met only once before, my pub, his shout, no music.

me: totally time to get into shape.

guy: yeah?

me: yeah, i'm tired of my jeans looking painted on... i'm going to use you as inspiration... i hope that's okay... you look great.

guy: maybe so, but you got the face

me: what the fuck do you mean by that

me: oh

silence

me: ohhh

me: ohhhh okay

me: thanks

me: i'll get the beer

2007-09-05T18:54:00.000+10:00

boring

2007-08-23T20:47:00.000+10:00

its true.. i'm the most boring man in the world...

i'll be back online soon :)

That i'm strong enough... to live without you....

2007-08-17T20:47:00.000+10:00

So apparently the wave of the future is face book.. i have logged on today to find that there are already 10 thousand photos of me on there... since when did my face become public property... I'm all for the internet... but goodness me... some permission people...

now excuse me as i get busy posting photos of jake :)

and the decision has been made....

2007-08-14T22:00:00.000+10:00

This years overseas destination of choice is... Thailand.

After much thought and examination it appears that the land of thai seems to be the winner...

Close enough to be okay to visit for a week or two... tropical enough to enjoy some summerness and new enough... as i havent been there before...

Some here's to bringing in a new year in another country.... :)

Of course, it's August and there is a lot of room for these plans to change... we'll see :)

Sundayness

2007-08-12T17:27:00.000+10:00

Markets, old friends, family, fruit, vegies, flowers, car wash, cleaning, vacuuming :)

Perfect. perfect. perfect Sunday :)

Since I saw Shut Up and Sing the other night, i cannot get the record out of my head or cd player for that matter... Each song is strong, enjoyable and carries a message either personal, or global (if, for that matter there is any difference)

Anyway, if you feel like you tubing any of the songs, just for some dixie fever - my suggestion is 'Easy Silence'.... hot right now :)

Time to go home and prepare for a working week. :)

long time gone

2007-08-11T11:11:00.000+10:00

so my promise to blog further and more frequently clearly didnt work... too much morking, too much moving... to much non computer time. Anyway...

Finally got to see Shut up and Sing - go, go, go... oh and listen to Amy Winehouse's Rehab... its a go, go, go too...

I don't know how much truth behind this there is but i have a hunch that three of my favored singers are going to release a new album by the end of the year... clearly I'm not coping with excitement and indecisiveness over which is going to rate number 1 in my itunes 100 come this Summer... Alanis, Dido and Miss Mariah all doing their thing... whoop whoop

Must dash, places to go, people to see... internet is being considered and with any luck will be connected soonest...

Out :)

not postal... yet

2007-08-02T17:39:00.000+10:00

So, tonight marks the first day of my few days out of the office... sure it's not going to be relaxing, nor is it going to be rewarding or even refreshing...

BUT I am not suiting up, i am not wearing ties and i am not using my (work) laptop to excess... yeee ha

but i am moving... which is not working. well, sort of not working, but not working.

Anyway :) It's out of the office time for me, it's no phones ringing its no one asking me for things unreasonable, well at least not at work anyway :)

Tonight is refreshing already...

Anyway, i trust everyone has a nice couple of work days ahead... I'll be back to work on Tuesday :)

Its in the air... or maybe the tree

2007-07-31T20:20:00.000+10:00

In spite of being a big brother loving, mummy's boy... i do have other good traits and interests too... (Okay, that Big Brother thing is a lie, but every now and again we all need to feel good about our own lives)...

Last week under a cloud of as much dissapointment as this country can feel over the loss of a polly (With the exception, maybe, of John So) 'Bracksy' called it a day. Be it for family reasons or otherwise his resignation has left a gaping hole in the leadership of this state... and I, personally am sad to see him go...

Sure he didn't restore our public holidays, didn't reverse any of the pre-him Governments workings, however he has been about as long as i have been old enough to vote and from a distance (ie, wasn't really that interested in politics until quite recently) he served us well.

Plus, credit to any polly willing to wet-suit up, irrespective of their shape... our out of shapeness, whichever the case may be.

Oh well... Brumby I suspect will do some good work in the wake of Bracks... I'm pretty excited for the coming months... this man needs to make some good impressions... he does come with a small cloud of 'beazly'about him... time will tell.

love hate love hate love hate love hate

2007-07-31T20:01:00.000+10:00

nothing more pathetic than a 25 year old man who spends an alarming amount of time with their mother.

enter... me.

she is insane, almost completely. but absolutely hilarious. oft more than not i am a prick, a 25 year old un-thankful prick. but from time to time she does things that makes me smile, and beam with pride... today is one of those days.

A woman who seemingly was born to 'be there' for everyone esle, is looking after herself... even now as she desperately clammers to see what's going on, on my laptop screen... she entertains me...

Now, i should really lern to tell her.

A book and its cover

2007-07-31T19:48:00.000+10:00

whoops. Not too surprisingly i was very quick to judge a man simply because his traits don't sit right with what i deem 'right'. he wears his heart, beliefs, loves and femininity on his sleeve... and well, it's hot...

Big Brothers runner up, Zach, did a great job of being himself. Sometimes it made me cringe with dire concern for my people, but over the past day/s he was a pleasure to watch. His simple complications, passion for dressing and fascinating candid attitude really stuck a nerve.

He's gay, he's all gay, nothing but gay, so help im jesus... and he dun' care.

Whilst it doesn't fit me, to be as, well, as much as he is... i love it. for the first time in my life, i loved it. Thanks Zach!

I just might wear some make up tomorrow... Okay, maybe not.

not a boy... well, not yet a man

2007-07-30T16:05:00.000+10:00

I am not admiring the breed or the way in which these will either make money or look rotating on a spit... merely admiring the cuteness.... check out the latest addition to my old mans flock...

These are odd coloured twins... some sort of genetic wrongness... but it's good... the boys aren't more than 24 hours old... good size for twins..

I'm such a fuckin' bogan.

what now?

2007-07-30T15:27:00.000+10:00

This is a big week

I'm moving

I'll be 'back online' some time soon

I'm buying new posessions, i do enjoy doing same
I'm living out of a new burb

I'm selling my first ever brand new car (purchased october 05)

I'm starting a whole new living program (dont ask)

I am spending more and more time alone, something far too unfamiliar...

I am waving goodbye to more and more travelling friends

I seem to be only working 3 days, a shock to my unwaivering work ethic

I am typing a lot of stentences about I

and I am enjoying all of this :)
Hopefully post soon, likely from my new abode.

rancho relaxo

2007-07-30T15:14:00.000+10:00

after what was a week of ups and downs and sideways and backways, it was nice to scape the racing rats and head coastal... to a little town past geebong to sit about, drink, be merry and do not much else... myself and a few friends spent the weekend enjoying dirnking games, grotesquely familiar toilet humour and disgustingly delicious and frightful food...

it was nice to take in some ocean air with some walks along beach and surrounding cliffs... to drive through some pretty pretty parts of this state and connect and expand with some friends ive known as long as anyone should know a friend...

i like boys now

2007-07-30T15:01:00.000+10:00

I'd encourage each and every of you to check out the Simpsons movie... Idiotically and excitedly i saw the midnight screening when it opened to the punters and it was awesome... sure, i fell asleep in a few little parts... but it was midnight...

Anyway... the simpsons practically wrote my vocab and provided all move my american history knowledge (Alarming i know)...

It's very much like an M version of a normal episode and will have you mending your sides back together... i assure you

Big

2007-07-24T21:34:00.000+10:00

the margin seems more indented tonight
mist has begun to arrive on the bay,
although the streets are clearthe feeling tonight,
the space and the feeling
feel like there should be thick fog lining the streets
fog that prevents seeing more than 2 feet ahead
music seems louder, or perhaps i am hearing more
inane noise seems more obtrusive and i think my heart is weakening
i dont feel strong tonight
i feel done and spent and i feel empty
i want nothing more to wake up - i used to want to wake up with someone
but when someone isnt what someone should be
or was in your head
then it changes to wanting to wake alone
wake up on a work day and lie in bed
the world expects your suit and tie but you present nothing
nothing but laying in bed,
all day,
all day until oprah
then bed.
bed presents headspace clarity.
well, not clarity
but bed means no more complications can be birthed
bed is comfortable and it is forgiving
and supportive although at times it can remind of feelings
feelings that are good and bad, when good becomes bad
and bad also inverts, that moment, that situation
that problem
i believe to be purgatory
its when it was so good and is so good
but its looked back on with sadness and pain
it's not over yet. it is over yet, but its not over yet.
there is more and less to do but its over
i mean, the blood stopped pumping months ago
it's on life support.
supported not by a comfortable bed
but my comfort. the comfort of laurels.
the comfort of being okay
or making it okay, which is what we do, its our conditioning.
make it okay, okay is what life is.
life is okay.
dreamers think there is more.
but dreamers dont have jobs.
dreamers are poor and dont life the life.
happiness is not worth the loss of income.
not today.
not with everything being so expensive.
i want to look back on big grocery bills, big bank statements
big things
and know i traded love in for big things.
perhaps a big love will change that, a roxette styled big love
with flowers and the plot line of a movie.
with mystery
and obvious workings from something we dont know or understand
universe, destiny, fate, karma, manifesting
a force
a secret
coincidences will be escalated to divine work
the knots will be there to begin. and then fade
flowers will continue sporadically
a big love is clear.
its fundamental
a big love will support debt and growth
but it will not dictate, the debt will not be the love
not a big love.
is everyone capable of a big love?
is everyone deserved of a big love?
big love
i'm not typing well tonight.
i feel like i want to throw my socks out the window
this room does not have a window
to think of a room without windows is to think of wartime
wartime darkness and despair
wartime heros and villains and players and killers
i am wearing clothes to bed
its cold
the streets are probably unclear by now
its not warm
its very cold
big cold.
tomorrow is work and tomorrow is phones and life
is this life hell
is hell the noose,
the designer noose i wear about my neck each day
is hell the meeting i'm late to or the antsy customer
this could be hell.
big hell.
it would be my idea of hell.
this life.
without the love.
the big love.
the little loves.
the lusts.
the wanting time over again.
the forces.
that would be hell. this life.
without the sweet things.
the drives.
the conversations.
the actions.
typing, i like typing.
streaming.
typing.
i've emptied out my words. but i feel fuller.
my eyelids are heavy.
heavy that would indicate this day is done.
one more day.
done.
a happy day of confusion.
and no big love.
a fun day of freidns and indulgance
too much perhaps
today is done.
not many minutes left.
but i like each one of them
like all the ones already gone.
morning will be here very soon.
and traffic. and phones and emails.
he will email. i will like it.
a distraction.
the flaw in my perfectly planned work day.
a flaw.
goodnight.

next lady friend

2007-07-22T16:47:00.001+10:00

I had forgotten about just how delightful one particular man is... and then today, through tired eyes i re-engaged with mr Jnr. Well, Mr Prinze Junior....

I think we should date sometime.

sore head

2007-07-22T14:58:00.000+10:00

never, ever drinking again... reasons;

- I've woken up sore

- Drunken phone calls

- Stupidity

- the mcdonalds gorging in the morning

never, ever again.

No regrets..

2007-07-21T10:13:00.000+10:00

The other night I saw Le Vie En Rose... I'm always fascinated by movies not made for me to understand... ie subtitles... and this film was without exception...

Easy movie to watch, I mean her story is well and truly worthy of the big screen but it was after the movie it crept up and kicked me in the side... The part was exceptionally played... the singing (although miming) was extraordinary...

I don't see movies often (attention span falls well short) but i'd encourage anyone to check this one out.

All these things that I have done...

2007-07-21T09:30:00.000+10:00

I feel like I have been from one point of the state to another this week, well i guess i have... From Benders to Bairnsdale... In excess of 2000 k's and i'm pretty chuffed to be chained to my desk next week...

At least Benders was for a cause, I saw Missy Higgins and Kater Miller-Heidke (Or something like that) at possibly the coldest venue in the world... but it was fun, and although this was my 3rd Missy experience (seriously not a stalker) it was pretty damn good... I'm afraid my technology isn't up to speed but check out my cell-phone snap... be careful, the quality is so good you may be astounded...

Most boring blog ever

2007-07-16T20:26:00.000+10:00

Money. Tax time is fun for me (I think it's because i dont have a HECS debt... thank you mum and dad) and i do feel for those who have to give it all up but there is something overwhelmingly exciting about a cash injection in the old bank account... sure it's destination is pre-planned and only a little bit will be used for fun...

But I love, love, love taxtime.

Anyway...

Enough chatter... tax to do...

the tales of new

2007-07-15T19:18:00.000+10:00

So, as with other things, this blog and i are going to take some steps to be closer over the coming weeks and months... step one will be getting the internet at where i live...

That should hopefully be soon...

The next is going to be using my digital camera a little more and sharing more of what i see and do daily... maybe it will be more interesting to other people..!!! Kidding!

Anyway, i now sign off for what is likely to be another couple of days... Its a fun time to think of relationships as anew... a time for change and a time for sucking and see... here is to.... relationships... of all colours, shapes and dynamics.

Oh... i forgot...

2007-07-15T19:12:00.000+10:00

Today is a Tiffany's day...

:)

I love Tiffany Days.

Sunday.

2007-07-15T17:50:00.000+10:00

Just when i thought Sundays couldnt get any better...

there is today.

A day of family, sunshine, faith and friends. Today is one of the best Sundays of my life.

Little kids, babies, remind us of the awesomely important things... Being happy, crying when we don't get what we want... reaching as much as possible for what we want.... being alive.

Without care of expectation nor regard for anything, really.

:) It's beautiful. Today was the perfect celebration of just that.

Thanks.

What are you doing????

2007-07-14T17:34:00.000+10:00

I am moving into a new house, one with internet and a little bit of privacy!

Yee ha!

I am travelling all 4 points of this state over the coming couple of days... Cannot wait - Any ideas of wonderful things to see????

And tomorrow, so scarily, i am going to become a Godfather :) Welcoming myself back to catholocism i dumped so many years ago :)

It's a well and truly worth cause.....

Hopefully i'll be on more soon :)

you can't fool me i saw you when you came out

2007-07-11T17:27:00.000+10:00

I have always wanted to be a parent. whatever that means. but it's something that for reasons obvious and not, is completely not attainable for me. the least of which reasons being my near insanity :)

But, when those close to me began thier lives as parents - it's easy to see what a blessing it can be, what a gift and all those other wonderful terms. To hold a whole person in your arms, they being completely dependant.

I guess, even tho i'm 25, i've never been around a 'baby' before... well at least not until 6 months ago :)

But it's something i enjoy probably above most other things, probably more than i enjoy complete isolation :)

Today was a big old day of babies, laughing, crying, shatting themselves - and me thinking how perfect the whole thing is.

I must admit i enjoyed handing the little tackers back... :)

Anyway - now to get back to my shiny life with no promise of offspring... and no expectation for that matter.

100 round the bends

2007-07-10T20:42:00.000+10:00

The fog is going to make it semi-impossible to get home tonight. my eyes are going to make it equally as challenging. 4am bedtimes seem like such a good idea at the time.

I think i am likely to sleep in tomorrow morning. tomorrow morning a day of peak change and excitement. i am looking forward to tomororw.

tomorrow will result in step 21 toward new. tomorrow will be warm in some ways it will be windy and my hair will feel swept. tomorrow is going to result in my phone ringing a lot and my words being unheard.

but someone else will hear them and not be happy, i'll be callous about something semi important and i'll fly under the radar when i don't want to.

he will be there, sitting in the same chair as he has done before. he will taunt me with his sweet shirt wearing ability.

she, i dont know who, will give me greif down the phone for a term or condition she didnt read and my laptop will remark unexplained noises.

tomorrow is going to be fun, now to get home to give way to tomorrow.

out .

UPDATE... Albeit quick

2007-07-08T19:26:00.001+10:00

Awesome! SATC movie is on it's way... I'll be sure and wear a new suit when i see it...

I have had a 'thing' for this chap as long as i have had a thing for chaps.... It's nice to see someone as white as me out and about!

And i didnt spend much time watching Heros... perhaps i should :)

A long time gone

2007-07-08T18:13:00.000+10:00

It's funny, living a life 'offline' has got me in touch with aspects of life i had neglected... which is nice.

But ive countless blog updates to read, emails to read and send and gossip pages to renew my affair with....

with a new house, and internet connection just around the bend... i'll be back online soon... hopefully...

Sundayness

2007-07-01T18:38:00.000+10:00

Today is Sunday. I love Sundays.

Today was a lie in. a beautiful sweat session. a day with family. an afternoon of interesting smells and sounds. an evening of pure and love :) Today is a good day.

I love Sunday.

And it continues...

2007-06-30T17:38:00.000+10:00

'The Melbourne Eye' continues to take shape with little fanfare, to which i am surprised. Perhaps the folk at docklands or whomever is in charge of the project should get some controversy happening - a broken cable, a dangling worker, something to get some attention...

it's something different for a glass dominated city... i know i will never ride it, but it will be be a talking point. And one loves to hear talk of ones city.

Alanis & Xavier

2007-06-30T11:23:00.000+10:00

my favorite aussie muso and my favorite all time muso get together in the angeles for a photo opportunity...

I get the feeling she is going to do some sort of xavier cover, or perhaps likewise... which would be freaking awesome.

Anyway, if anyone hears of a duet or any sort of musical cross over - hook me up.

Purgatory

2007-06-26T20:57:00.001+10:00

So I've moved back to town, back to the the smoke, the grind and loving myself sick may i mention.I am completely offline pretty much all the time, seems I have moved into one of the .2 thousand percent of the households in melbourne not wirelessly available...

SO i am missing the blogging an the dependancy of being online, but i am getting out a lot more, seeing people i havent in years and enjoying the winterness melbourne presents :)

So for now, i will be sporradic until probably.... Saturday when my boring self wins and i call and give into optus home phone and internet 10 year contract :)

So keep me in this state, leave me purgatorying
sing me off to sleep, this is more than i have bargained for

SO anyway - I am enjoying the fella from Prison Break has been outed, Wentworth Miller, perhaps i will date him sometime. Paris is free and the dees coach is going to get the neck. Don't worry danna, you're welcome back at windy hill anytime.

:) Enjoy the new missy single on the radio (Nova and Fox at the moment only i think) but check my archives if you want to hear it... it rocks.

The Good, The Bad, The Spicey.

2007-06-23T17:45:00.000+10:00

They're back. !

Let's hope they tour with thier husbands :)

Link here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/22/AR2007062200691.html

It feels like home.

2007-06-23T17:32:00.000+10:00

I've been to most of those city's that don't close down... and so on... And i have always felt Melbourne in my pulse. However - to move back, to move full time back in to the air, the traffic i love to hate so much - i feel complete.

Melbourne has a place in me as much as i feel I have a place here.

:) Feels good to be home.

I've done it. I've finally done it.

2007-06-20T20:44:00.000+10:00

All done. I cannot believe it. But it is all done.

I have cut my wardrobe in half. The clothes i have been hanging on to for far too long. Gone. Gone.

I have bag after bag of clothes that havent been on my back, or legs for a long long long time.

Anyway - It feels good. I recommend it.

Well, I'll tell you how i feel when I actually drop them off at a deserving charity bin.

Too much choice.

2007-06-19T22:54:00.000+10:00

Just when i thought the PDA crisis was enough, I am now faced with another decision... Which man-friend is right?

Can you help me decide.

Suitor 1 -

Suitor 2 -

Dilemma, dilemma...

Excuse me while i get back to reality.

And the nominations are...

2007-06-19T20:30:00.001+10:00

I continue to rely on paper maps to welcome me to near-accidents and disasters as I run from the office too late to possibly make it on time - while i fester on the insanity that is deciding on which Palm Pilot (Are they still called that??) is the best one for me...

Does anyone have any Idea, so far the most logical seem to be....

The HP iPaq - This is my companies preferred, thus most likely to work with my laptop best.

This one is a bit chunky to look at, but reviews aren't bad and I like how it feels in my hand.

This one is going to work like a Nokia, as it is a Nokia, and as I have been a Nokia man for a long time, I am keen on this... and I prefer the buttons here too....?

Help!

Blogger 101

2007-06-18T22:42:00.000+10:00

Seeing as i am doing whatever possible to get out of doing real work... I have stolen this from 'http://yaniblog.blogspot.com/' as it's the perfect distract-myself-from-doing-work activity.

10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color: Seeing everything I own is Blue... I guess it's blue.
Favorite Food: My chicken parcels... Well my sisters, but i stole them.
Favorite Month: December...
Favorite Song: GREAT QUESTION - All time fave would have to be Perfect by Alanis Morissette, Nelly Furtardo sings a song called Try i have loved for ages and counting crows Miami.
Favorite Movie: at the risk of sounding gay (:)) Dirty Dancing seems to top it, then demolition man or maybe Amelie.
Favorite Sport: Probably AFL
Favorite Season: Summer nowadays, but i enjoy winter. Like extremes it seems.
Favorite Day: Sunday
Favorite Ice Cream: Light Blue Peters one.
Favorite Time of Day: Morning. And then maybe 3pm.

9 CURRENTS
Current Mood: Good. A little unsettled, but good.
Current Taste: I'm taking this as taste in music - in which case - The Proclaimers.
Current Clothes: hoody - track pants.
Current Desktop: Lani
Current Toenail Color: Natural
Current Time: too late to not be doing the work i have to present tomorrow.
Current Surroundings: ahhhh bedroom.
Current Thoughts: How am i going to get away with my dog eating my homework?

8 FIRSTSFirst Best Friend: No idea. Not very sentimental like that.First Kiss: I was young, way young... under the table at my babysitters :) I don't remember her name tho.
First Screen Name: Stinga16 - That's right... 9 years ago on ICQ i think...
First Pet: Tammy.
First Piercings: top of my right ear when i was 17, tongue at 19.
First Crush: Linda Day - Editor in Press Gang.
First CD: Jesus Christ Superstar the Musical Soundtrack, oh wait, that was a tape... TLC Crazy Sexy Cool
First Vehicle I Drove: Nissan Navara.

7 LASTSLast Cigarette: I don't have a first.
Last Drink: With dinner tonight... I think i may have a problem.
Last Car Ride: Way home from work tonight.
Last Kiss: ummmm this morning.
Last Movie Seen: Long time since i have watched a new movie... probably the Queen. oh no, ummmm, yeah Queen.
Last Phone Call: tonight to my new roomate.
Last CD Played: Listened to the live elton john concert over dinner tonight.

6 HAVE YOU EVERSHave You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: Yep. Besides recent times always went from best friends to more.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: !!!!!!!!!!!
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Yes.
Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes - I hope you've had your weet bix.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Yes.

5 THINGS
Thing You're Wearing: Hoody
Thing You've Done Today: Drove a long way.
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Nothing. Silence. Then the fan on the laptop kicks in.
Thing You Can't Live Without: My family probably. then maybe my sneakers.
Thing You Do When You're Bored: these things.

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
Work
Home
Cafe downstairs
Car Park?

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TOO
K dawg
My sisters I guess :)

2 CHOICES
Black or White: White
Hot or Cold: Cold

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIEFinish my book - start, then finish my book.

And the move is complete. Sort of.

2007-06-18T22:03:00.001+10:00

Old house packed up, being cleaned by someone not me - and now on to whatever happens to be next. And when i know exactly what that is, i am sure i will (with much excitment) report it here...

I am destraught it's taken me to move out of my house to make it look like how i wanted it to whilst living there... but hey... at least it looks good now...

depending on individual taste, of course.

The lounge.... "All Done"

This is one part of the lounge... 'Getting there'

Ach! And to think all of those boxes are going to need to be unpacked again soon...!!!!

It had to be done

2007-06-18T21:44:00.000+10:00

It seems a blogging right of passage to do a 'which celebrity do i look like'?... So here is mine...

The photo I used is far too hideous for public consumptiont however who I was matched to has caused little complaint. FYI - Contrary to it's suggestion, i don't much look like a lady.

i often get mistaken for Paul Walker... probably more than any other... and then i wake up :)

Stolen Sunday

2007-06-17T10:31:00.000+10:00

On the packing home stretch now... Should be done no later than November.... Maybe early December.

Moving.

2007-06-16T19:04:00.000+10:00

Ach! I am trapped 'neath mountains of posessions packed so politely into boxes of odd colours and shapes. I enjoy moving, the new Safeway, the new traffic, new route to the toilet at 3am... however, i really do not enjoy the packing - and unpacking for that matter.

Alas, it has to be done and here I am - Packing up, yet one more time...

I must go, stop the procrastinating and continue to pack and tape my worldy's in the mountain of ready-to-move-ness.

What do they say?

2007-06-16T10:52:00.000+10:00

The morning after the night before... Is there anything funnier than the morning after ring around to hear that every single one of the people you were out with has picked up and is now trying to figure out....

1) how to sneak out silently
2) how to insist he stays for breakfast.... and lunch next tuesday
3) how to ask for one more shag before never seeing him again...

But is there anything better than waking up - realising there is someone lying beside you... and being happy with how they look... and smell :)

:)

on the road again...

2007-06-14T21:20:00.000+10:00

I feel like a trucker. On the road each day, enjoying daytime radio, enjoying the crazy amount of roadworks, the stupid traffic light patterns and quite simply loving not being behind a desk.

I am now, at 923pm about to head off for a 150km journey to make sure I make my Northern Victorian 9am meeting. Yee Ha....

Got to go and pack!

If I had a dime for every...

2007-06-13T18:28:00.000+10:00

Music (Or rather, Musac) is a big old part of everyone's life. But it takes on a different role than just dance accompinament or humming harmonizer when it needs to. One time, probably the most integral or most enjoyable is when things go wrong. When people go missing - by choice or otherwise.

Today I want to celebrate the woman who has to be the one, the only, Break Up Queen. Alanis Morissette.

I promise to not become one of those 'video blogs' that become annoying, but today is a good day to pay homage - the cold weather, the feelings of mine and those close...

First up - Miss M with a song that is more than a few years old, its aptly titled 'Simple Together'. Paying respect to the idea of a relationship being easy, comfortable, relaxed, simple. I dont know if same exists... But the idea certainly inspires.

Second and lastly, Alanis' newest orginal song to be heard... celebrating her time spent with the delcious Ryan Reynolds - A song called 'Not As We'. The Alanis Message Board crew have spent time decyphering Alanis' lyrics... but who can be sure.

Enough is enough. To those who need it my thoughts are with you. I'm here if you need.

All I know is that I should...

2007-06-12T20:51:00.000+10:00

Don't so much pay attention to the images, but the music track is Missy Higgins' 'Where I Stood'... Awesome song... Awesome writing.

Lyrics are here: http://www.elyricsworld.com/look/m/Missy-Higgins-lyrics/Where-I-Stood-lyrics.html

Defence! Defence! Defence!

2007-06-12T19:59:00.000+10:00

Yep, you see what I see.

Anyone wanna go to basketball?

Thinking warm...ahh... hot... thoughts.

2007-06-11T21:38:00.000+10:00

As the temperature plummets off the chart we need to conjour up thoughts of tropical traditions, sungalsses, white v neck tshirts and 5 O'clock shadows....

Future Man-Friend seems to wear it better than most. I do prefer the colder months as scarves and gloves are my two favorite things to wear... but if the need arose... I could indulge... Maybe.

It just seems to work.

2007-06-11T20:16:00.000+10:00

There is something about Sunday (Or pseudo Sunday) Ikea shopping that captivates me. It's perfect... gays as far as my eyes can see, babies coming out of every pretend-apartment, the first timers revelling in the enormity of the whole thing. I love Ikea. Not only for its over-the-top size, but its cheapness. If you want to stay in the cheap but acceptable range of furniture... that can be glossed up with some features from the accessories section, lamps and throws... then it's the place to shop.

Even the big blue bags that make purchases laborous captivate my imagination.

Spending excessive amounts of money on furniture that isn't going to be used in the house that I live in is annoying. But spending time at Ikea is reward enough. Or so I am telling myself.

Long weekend madness.

2007-06-11T09:16:00.000+10:00

I'm not exactly sure which of you I need to thank... However, I am not going to work today as one of you enjoys a Birthday. Have a great day and accept my present of gratitude....

Now, I must get busy doing nothing.

This may be all I need...

2007-06-10T21:11:00.000+10:00

Sundays are traditionally my day, the day I favour most. The day to do not much but prepare for work, catch up with friends or none, drive across this beautiful state... or do nothing. As in, nothing. Read some book pages, the newspaper, see my family. Safe to say, I love Sundays.

What could be better than Sunday? Today. A Sunday where work prep is not required. Early night is not required. Tomorrow holds yet another Sunday. A day where nothing is required. Nothing but sleeping in, driving home, enjoying the awesomeness of not working. :) Sunday, and Sunday II are good days.

Today, I spent the day with friends in what has to be one of the most beautiful places I've been. And they call it home. Jerks. Below are some snaps I took. Just perfect.

Lots of cows. Pretty cows.

The grass was green. A welcomed change.

Not too keen on tomorrow night, with work following - but tonight, I am going to relax and enjoy the rare Sunday that does not give way to a work day.

And then a hero comes along...

2007-06-10T09:49:00.000+10:00

Rarely have I found an ongoing adoration or interest in a certain celeberity or band or tv series etc... However, since as long as I can remember... Mariah Carey has entertained and intrigued. Even before she morphed into a chipmunk, through the highlight of 'Glitter' and lowly Charm bracelet she has taken pride of place in iPod and dvd player.

I mean, so often we have down-to-earth cleberities horrified thier counterparts are expecting too much, are too insane or have incomprehensible demands. Mariah is insistant, demanding - She is celeberity and all it promises to so many.

Anyway, Mimi had vansished since the success of her emancipation but she was back at Gangsta-Fest 07 a few days back... This must mean emancipation2 is but months away. Perhaps now is a good time to scrub up on Mariah-mania with a screening of Glitter.... 'No dice'.

Scrub your floors... do your chores...

2007-06-09T13:16:00.000+10:00

I need to hire help.

Common folk who can assume all of my domestic duties. I'm far too busy and important for tasks such as these.

You'll do.

To see or not to see?

2007-06-09T12:01:00.000+10:00

Is this the stage 1 of Melbournes "London" eye?

It's at the docklands and only went up Friday morning... Well sometime tween Thursday night and Friday morning....

I wonder how long it will take us to stop calling it the London eye?

do i like what you like?

2007-06-07T23:57:00.000+10:00

John Mayer on hot pills is Mika. A hot voice, awesome musac-ability and forearms to be eaten. Click for an adventure into the hot, hot mika.

Flames to dust... Lovers to friends...

2007-06-07T23:29:00.001+10:00

Goodbye is never nice. No matter the situation. But it hurts when it as unexpected as Britney being a good mum. How come we catch up at funerals? How come it matters how successful we are at funerals? How we look? How hot our partners are? Too much. Not enough. Why do all good things come to and end?

No I won't shut up, but I will sing.

2007-06-06T21:48:00.001+10:00

How come it's now June and there is still not word of Shut Up And Sing being out in Australia?

It's hot... Oh, so is he.

2007-06-06T21:33:00.000+10:00

Jake (My future man-friend) has answered the question, but I am still.... months later without decision. To PDA or not to PDA? I need some sort of increased organisation... but is a PDA saying goodbye (finally and completely) to my often-hard-to-reach self that has thrived (or not thrived) for so long?

Well, maybe it's time to say goodbye to freedom and hello to knowing where I am meant to be at any one time.

Huzzah for decisions.

Now, which one... This shouldn't be too hard.

And then there's maude...

2007-06-05T22:11:00.000+10:00

When planning this blog i thought... this will be easy. i'm a buz with thought and complaint daily. and here i am. blog 2 as un spectacular as blog 1.

Blog 1, Blog 1.. From Scratch Begin Again....

2007-06-03T22:34:00.000+10:00

First impressions are always important, blog or otherwise.